GRIEF AND LOSS

“Grief is not a sign of weakness, nor a lack of faith. It is the price of love.”

- Unknown

FINDING YOUR WAY THROUGH IT

If you've lost someone, something, or even a version of yourself, this page is for you.

As men, we’re often expected to be the strong ones. To hold it together for others. To keep going.

And while that strength might carry us through on the outside, it can tear us apart within.

The truth? Grief is heavy. It’s messy. It doesn’t follow a timeline, and it doesn’t always look like sadness. Sometimes it’s anger. Sometimes it’s numbness. Sometimes it’s just not knowing what the hell you feel.

But here’s the good news: there’s no “right” way to grieve - only your way.
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And you don’t have to do it alone.

WHY IT MATTERS

Grief isn’t just about death. It can come after a breakup, job loss, estrangement, miscarriage, or even the loss of an identity.

For many men, grief becomes a silent weight. Society doesn’t hand us an emotional framework - just phrases like “man up,” or “be strong for the family.” (where have we heard that before?)

So we internalise the pain. We isolate. We distract. We pretend we’re fine.

But grief doesn’t vanish when you ignore it, it festers. And over time, that buried pain can show up in your relationships, your health, your confidence, your ability to connect.

Let’s talk about what it really looks like - and how to start healing.

WHAT YOU'LL FIND ON THIS PAGE

A guide to recognising grief - even when it doesn’t look like grief
Why men often struggle to process loss
Healthy ways to cope and express your feelings
How to support a grieving mate
Where to find help when you’re struggling

RECOGNISING GRIEF WHEN IT'S NOT OBVIOUS

Grief isn't always tears and funerals. It can also look like:

Sudden bursts of anger or irritability
Losing interest in things you used to love
Feeling numb, disconnected, or 'off'
Increased drinking, porn use, or other distractions
Physical symptoms like headaches, fatigue, or chest tightness

You might not even realise you're grieving. But if you've experienced a loss - of a person, a dream, a relationship, your health, your identity - it counts.

And it matters.

WHY MEN STRUGGLE WITH GRIEF

We're told to be strong: From a young age, many boys are taught that crying is weakness, and emotions make you less of a man
We don’t want to burden others: So we bottle it up, thinking we’re protecting our loved ones.
We lack the language: If you’ve never been shown how to talk about your emotions, how can you?
We use distractions instead of healing: Numbing is easier than facing what hurts. Until it stops working.

Always remember: you're not weak for feeling pain.

COPING IN A HEALTHY WAY

There’s no ‘quick fix’ for grief, but there are ways to begin moving through it - rather than just surviving it.

Acknowledge your feelings. Don’t judge them. Grief might bring sadness, guilt, relief, rage, confusion - all at once. That’s normal.
Talk to someone. A friend, a counsellor, a group. You don’t have to make sense of it all alone.
Give yourself permission to grieve. There’s no timeline. Some days will be okay. Others will knock the wind out of you. That’s not failure, that’s grief.
Move your body. A short walk. A workout. Getting out of your head can help ease the pressure.
Create a ritual. Write a letter to the person you lost. Visit a meaningful place. Honour the loss in your own way.

HOW TO SUPPORT A GRIEVING MATE

If you know a guy who's grieving, here’s how to show up for him:

Don’t try to fix it. Just listen.
Avoid clichés like “everything happens for a reason.”
Let him talk - or not talk. Just be present.
Keep checking in, even weeks or months later.
Ask the Five-Word Check-In: “How’s your heart right now?”

WHEN IT'S TIME TO GET HELP

Grief can turn into something heavier - especially if it’s been months (or years) and you still feel stuck, depressed, or unable to function.

There’s no shame in asking for help. In fact, it might be the bravest thing you do. A qualified therapist or grief counsellor can walk alongside you - not to take your pain away, but to help you carry it better.

⚠️ DISCLAIMER ⚠️

We’re not therapists or mental health professionals - just men standing with other men. If you’re struggling, these organisations can offer real, qualified support. Don’t do this alone.

CRUSE BEREAVEMENT SUPPORT

Cruse.org.uk

The UK’s leading bereavement charity, offering one-to-one support, group sessions, and practical advice for anyone grieving a loss. Their free helpline is available to anyone, and they understand that men often grieve differently.

STRONGMEN

StrongMen.org.uk

A UK charity specifically supporting men aged 18+ who are dealing with bereavement. They offer a unique mix of peer support, retreats, and community connection - with a focus on helping men rebuild strength after loss.

SAMARITANS

Samaritans.org

Not just for those at crisis point - Samaritans are there for anyone who needs to talk, including those struggling with grief, depression or loneliness. You don’t have to be in a dark place to reach out.

MIND - MENTAL HEALTH CHARITY

Mind.org.uk

While not grief-specific, Mind offers excellent resources around mental health, depression, and coping strategies - especially when grief turns into something heavier.

THE LOSS FOUNDATION

thelossfoundation.org

Supports people who have lost loved ones to cancer or COVID-19. They offer both online and in-person grief support groups, as well as helpful written guides.

YOUTUBE RESOURCES

FINAL THOUGHT

You don’t have to “move on.” You just have to move forward - one step, one moment, one breath at a time.

If you’ve loved deeply, of course you’ll grieve deeply. It doesn’t make you broken.

Talk.
Cry.
Rage.
Remember.
Honour what you lost.

Know that healing doesn’t mean forgetting - it means learning how to live again, with the love still in your heart.