TOXIC RELATIONSHIPS
If you feel small around someone you love,
it’s worth looking closer
"Are you in love? Or just addicted to the chaos?"
This topic is not spoken about enough.
We assume men don’t suffer in toxic relationships - or that if they do, they’re supposed to just deal with it.
But here’s the truth: being in a relationship where you’re constantly criticised, manipulated, gaslit, or made to feel less-than, is extremely damaging.
It doesn’t have to be physically violent to be deeply harmful. Men do experience this - more than they realise, and far more than they speak about.
WHY THIS MATTERS
Toxic relationships can affect everything in your life: your mental health, confidence, friendships, even your physical wellbeing.
Many men stay silent because of shame, fear of not being believed, or not wanting to appear “weak.” Some don’t even realise they’re in a toxic dynamic until they’ve completely lost themselves.
We look at this in more depth to help you see more clearly, reclaim your self-worth, and know that help exists.
WHAT YOU'LL FIND ON THIS PAGE
- How to recognise toxic patterns that aren’t physical - but still cause deep harm
- What red flags to look for, early and late in the relationship
- Why men often stay, and how to break free safely
- Learning to trust again - without losing yourself
- Where to get support, even if you’re not ready to speak up publicly
TOXIC DOESN'T ALWAYS MEAN VIOLENT
Here’s what it might look like:
- They constantly put you down, then say they’re “just joking.”
- You feel like you’re always apologising, even when you’ve done nothing wrong.
- You’re walking on eggshells, afraid of how they’ll react to simple things.
- You’ve stopped seeing friends, not because you wanted to, but because it was easier that way.
- They make you doubt your own memory, instincts, or experiences (this is gaslighting).
- You’ve started to feel like you’re the problem.
HOW TO SPOT IF YOU'RE IN A TOXIC DYNAMIC
- Do I feel more anxious than at peace in this relationship?
- Am I being supported, or controlled?
- Am I growing, or shrinking?
You don’t need a perfect checklist. If it doesn’t feel right, that’s worth listening to.
Trust yourself again. You’re not crazy. You’re not “too sensitive.”
You’re waking up to something that’s been draining you for a long time.
THE RED FLAGS TO WATCH OUT FOR
- Control masked as care: “I just worry about you, that’s why I check your location all the time.”
- Constant criticism: You’re never enough - not smart enough, fit enough, ambitious enough.
- Emotional blackmail: Threatening to leave, harm themselves, or ruin your reputation if you speak up.
- Isolating you from support: They get angry when you talk to friends or family.
- Shifting blame: Everything is your fault. Always.
WHY IT'S HARD TO Leave - and while you still can
You might be scared of what happens next. Or you might still love them. You may have children, a mortgage, or a shared social circle.
But here’s the truth: your wellbeing matters. You deserve to be safe, respected, and valued - not controlled or emotionally battered.
Leaving, or telling someone doesn’t make you weak. It makes you smart.
LEARNING TO TRUST AGAIN
Toxic relationships leave scars.
You may feel like you’ll never love again, or that you can’t trust your judgement. That’s okay.
Rebuilding trust starts with learning to trust yourself again. Take your time. Set clear boundaries. Know your red flags. Talk to someone.
And remember - the right person won’t make you feel like you’re hard to love.
YOU ARE NOT ALONE
You’re not broken.
Support is out there.
We’re proud to stand beside some great organisations doing amazing work:
SUPPORT AND HELPLINES
Confidential support for men experiencing domestic abuse.
📞 Helpline: 0808 801 0327 (Mon-Fri, 10am - 5pm)
📧 Email: info@mensadviceline.org.uk
🌐 www.mensadviceline.org.uk
Supporting male victim's of domestic abuse.
📞 Freephone: 0808 800 1170 (Mon-Fri, 10am - 4pm)
🌐 www.mankind.org.uk
A free, 24/7 listening service for anyone in emotional distress or despair
📞 Helpline: 116 123 (UK and Ireland)
📧 Email: jo@samaritans.org
🌐 www.samaritans.org
Support for men facing depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts
📞 Helpline: 0800 58 58 58 (5pm - Midnight, 365 Days)
🌐 www.thecalmzone.net
RECOMMENDED VIEWING
Not ready for a book? Start here.
These videos break down complex dynamics - like gaslighting, emotional abuse, and trauma bonds - into real, relatable language.
Whether you’ve got five minutes or an hour, they’re worth watching.
RECOMMENDED READING
These aren’t just books - they’re lifelines.
Each one offers powerful insights into toxic dynamics, emotional abuse, and how to rebuild your sense of self.
Whether you’re waking up to the damage or already healing, these pages will give you the clarity and strength to move forward.
FINAL WORD
You deserve respect.
You deserve peace.
You deserve a relationship where you feel whole, not hollowed out.
This isn’t about blaming. This is about healing.
And we’re with you.
